My Grandma Vivian passed away this past Saturday. She was 85-years-old, but her death still came as a surprise because she has always been the image of health and her decline happened so quickly. I attended her memorial service out in Colorado Springs on Tuesday, but feel like I am still processing the loss.
There is so much about my Grandma that I have always admired. She is such an intelligent, strong-willed, independent thinking woman. I like to think that I take after her in this regard. Throughout her life she was a community and political activist. And yes, she was a Democrat, too.
Grandma grew up in small town Utah and never lost the belief that a stranger was just a friend of a friend. She had this gift at making connections with people. And had the energy and intent to turn those connections into lifelong relationships. I remember that she was in the car with my family once when traffic came to a complete (and prolonged) halt due to construction up ahead. After a few restless minutes in the car, my Grandma hopped out (to my mother's dismay) and began striking up conversations with the people in the cars around us. She managed to share a good chunk of each of our personal histories with these people before the traffic got going again.
Sometimes we found her behavior embarrassing, but looking back I can see that my grandma just sincerely enjoyed people and looked for the best in everyone. I never heard speak an unkind word about another person. In fact, the only person I ever heard her make fun of was herself.
A year or so ago Grandma started talking about the cookbook that she was going to publish, The Mean Grandma's Cookbook. A title fitting for some of her more memorable concoctions. It was at Grandma's house that I learned that Jello could pass as a salad, but only if served on a leaf of lettuce and that every plate needed a touch of green. I also learned that juice, soup, and condiments would last twice as long when water was added to them. She once combined cream of potato and cream of broccoli soup and then added tuna from a can to it to round it off. When I was pregnant she served Yo and I raw chicken and al dente lentils on top of a potato that had baked for 3 hours. No wonder she was so skinny! It might be fair to say that I inherited my own culinary skills from my Grandma, if only I weren't so picky and half as health-conscious as she was.
Another thing my Grandma will always be remembered for, at least in my immediate family, is her interesting gift giving. When I was young I remember receiving clothes that were several sizes to big for me, because she was afraid that I would be insulted if the size of the clothes didn't match my age. Size 6 for a 6 year old, etc., etc. As we got older the sizes of the clothes were less interesting than the clothes themselves. One year my sister got a little Swiss-beer-girl type dress made out of burlap. She wore it when Grandma visited. We thought it was hilarious. Other years we would get her hand me downs, because every teenager wants to wear her Grandma's clothes.
She was a little frugal and more than a little eccentric, but she was ever so giving of her energies and time. When we were in elementary school in Kansas, my grandparents would drive out yearly to attend our grandparent's day at the school. I remember being so proud to have them there, getting to parade them around our classrooms and campus and show off our various projects and awards.
My Grandma has traveled cross land and sea, often by herself, to be there for family events like weddings and baptisms and baby blessings. As devoted as she was to my Grandpa Matt, my grandma's life did not stop 7 years ago when he passed away. She turned all the energy and love that she had poured into serving him, especially in his prolonged years of bad health, to serving her friends and family.
I was so moved by the number of people who came to pay their respects after my Grandma passed. Through church, in her neighborhood, and in the community at large, Grandma touched the lives of so many people.
Since I graduated from law school I've worked in nursing homes where I've gotten to spend lots of time with other people's grandparents and thought to myself on many an occasion, how it is such a shame that some of the wonderful people I work with don't have the support of their family members nearby. And here I am hundreds of miles from my own grandparents, three have now passed, thinking about the many opportunities that I missed to call, write, or see them.
I feel very grateful that in the last two years, I've gotten to make three trips out to Colorado Springs to see my Grandma, which means that Kai has gotten to meet his Great Grandma Vivian on two occasions (three if you count the one he was in utero). But I hope that my Grandma knows that I am sorry that I didn't spend more time with her in the last 13 years since I moved away from home. It is so easy to take your grandparents for granted as a kid. It's only when you get older that you begin to appreciate your grandparents are people with interesting, relatable histories. People who are not so different from you, despite the difference in age.
So I am sad that I have missed out on the chance to ask some of those questions that are left lingering in my mind and to hear some of those stories that were left unshared, but throughout the last week and a half, I have felt the Spirit testify to me again and again, that there will be time for that in the hereafters. So Grandma, I hope that you are enjoying the company of Grandpa Matt and all of your family and friends. I love you. I miss you. But I know I will see you again.
