Two K's in Kai

Kai has had the nickname "Kai Kai" since he was a wee little babe, thanks to my friend Josie. Since then everyone seems to call him Kai Kai--at church, at daycare, at home and among his friends. If you ask him his name, he may very well tell you, "Kai Kai".

Yesterday a friend told me that her cutie daughter, Sarah, recently began singing the alphabet with two Ks. When she asked why, she said because Kai Kai has two Ks.

You can't argue with that logic.

An expirement in parenting

When I was in 3rd grade, my class put on a play for the rest of the school based on the story of the family who thought their house was too small so they went to a wise man and asked what to do, and the wise man told them to put their dog in their house...and then their cow...and their horse...and their chickens, etc., etc., until all of their animals were inside and there was no room at all. The wise man then told them to take all of the animals back out of the house, and (ta da!) the house suddenly felt bigger than ever.

This house is about to get a little more crowded:

Soon the picture above is going to be my life (but let's be honest, I don't cook). Like I mentioned, I'm a woman of action. So instead of sitting around waiting for the bomb to drop, I'm going to 2nd-baby- boot camp.

What better way to adjust to having 2 kids, than taking on this?

Ok, I'm not exactly the new nanny to the octo-kids, but I did rope a friend into loaning me her two kids once a week. I figure that if I can master being responsible for three kids, two kids is going to be cake.

Here are the lessons that I've learned from this experiment so far:

1. More kids = more poop. This is not a 1:1 correlation. Somehow more kids equals a lot more poop.

2. Cleanliness is overrated. I'm talking the house, the kids clothes, their hands and their runny little noses. Normally it would drive me crazy if Kai had a big stain of something on his shirt. Somehow I don't care in the least if 3 kids are wearing their lunches from their heads to their toes. I've also decided, a little poop on the clothes isn't going to kill anyone, especially if it's rubbed into the fabric a little bit with a wet wipe.

3. TV is a blessing. Don't worry, friend o' mine, I don't let the kids sit in front of the TV for hours at a time. But having a 30 minute break from the chaos is like finding a tranquil island in this ocean of insanity that is apparently my life.

4. Success is a relative term. I no longer measure the success of the day by how many food groups my son has ingested, songs that we've sung, or books that we've read. Kids are alive and well(ish) = SUCCESS!!! (You're welcome, friend!)

5. It will not kill my dog to be outside all day.

6. More kids = more love. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that I could ever feel the same way about another kid that I feel about Kai, but kids have a way of drawing that love out of you. I love my friends' kids, not in quite the same way that I love my own, but enough to know that when it comes to kids, there's always more love to go around. It is one of God's greatest miracles that our capacity to love is increased with each person we let into our hearts. Our love is multiplied, not divided.

So far I'm going to call my experiment a success. After all, today all 3 kids are alive and well(ish).

Meet Donna...

This lovely lady is my mother. I get most of my Type A tendencies and my humor from my dad (oh, and that inflated sense of self-confidence), but I'd say the rest of me is all Mom.

She set the standard for me of what a mom should be. She was more than hands-on, she devoted her life to raising her young family and making sure that we had the happiest childhoods possible. She played with us, read us books, cooked us homemade meals, sewed us Halloween costumes and holiday dresses and always made us feel how much we were loved.

But my mom is more than an ideal mommy. She is one smart, sassy, and capable woman. In our house when something broke, my mom came to the rescue. (Have you met my dad? Let's just say that he is not mechanically gifted.) Donna is now the person Yo turns to when he has questions about tools or home repairs.
 
At just 5'2" she is small, but packs a punch. I've never met a piece of furniture my mother couldn't find a way to move if she wanted to. So Yo has her to thank when he comes home from work and finds that I've reorganized our living room for the umpteenth time. 

My mom also taught me and my sister that we could accomplish anything we wanted in life. She had four children by the time she was 26-years-old, but still managed to earn her bachelor's degree and get her teaching credentials. She began working outside the home as a full-time teacher when I was in 3rd grade and showed me how to be a professional woman while putting your family first. Since then she has gone on to get her masters degree. Go Mom!

But my mom wasn't all business when we were growing up. She easily won the title of the "fun parent" in our house. She has a spontaneous streak that my dad simply lacks. When my dad got the opportunity to chaperon a student trip to England, my mom didn't sit around the home moping. Instead she spent the week doing fun, un-Hoyt-like things with us kids, capping the week off by buying us a trampoline. Of course my dad had no foreknowledge of this transaction to our added delight.


She is the cool parent who would ride roller-coasters with us at amusement parks, who made birthdays and holidays so memorable with her personal touches, and who even turned a blind-eye every once in a while when we were a few minutes late for curfew (my dad was the curfew Nazi).

My mom is one of the most generous, big-hearted people you'll ever meet. She never met a stray dog that she could turn away. Sometimes our house seemed like a doggy-hotel with the dogs that we bought, those that we adopted, and those that we fostered until we were able to find them homes. And of course, all dogs just love her.


Children love her, too. As a grandma, she is pretty much the ultimate. She is still young and spunky and hands-on and fun. She'll be involved in a water gun fight one moment and then whip up a batch of cookies the next. She reads stories and cuddles and races cars and gives piggy-back rides. Kai totally scored in the grandma department.


And I totally scored in the mom department. I am not as domestically gifted as my mom and I lack some of her gumption, but I hope that my kids will be able to look back at their childhoods and have as many happy memories and feel as loved as I did...thanks to my mom.

Utah...the highlights

Since we graduated from the Y (6 years ago!) Yo has made periodic pitches for moving back. I can't blame him. He has all sorts of nostalgic attachment to the state going back to his days as an exchange student in high school. But that does not mean that he has the remotest chance of selling me on the idea. I'm just gonna come out and say it, I don't like Utah.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not a total hater. There are just hundreds of other places that I would rather live. And let's be honest, pitching Utah's four seasons and opportunities for snowmobiling are not going to win this Floridian over.

But after spending a week in Utah, I can say that there are a few things that I appreciate about Utah. Here is a list of my top 5:

1. These mountains.

They really are breathtaking. Even I can appreciate that. They are so beautiful, in fact, that you almost forget the fact that you are driving through an industrial wasteland on I-15 for miles at a stretch.

2. Cheap haircuts:

If I'm being totally honest, this is my favorite thing about Utah--hands down, no doubt about it. Since moving to California I have been searching and searching and searching for a hairstylist that is half as talented, even if half as affordable, as my stylist in Utah.

You may recall my recently traumatic haircut experience. For those of you who need a refresher, after 2 haircuts and 4 hours of chair time, I still ended up with a haircut that I hated (and that looked nothing like the haircut I'd asked for).

Nothing good ol' Tiffany couldn't handle. In 2 hours and for $75 I not only got the haircut I wanted, I also got full highlights! (Seriously, Tiffany is amazing and so affordable. If you are going to be in Utah and want to try her out, let me know.)

3. Utah's lower tax rate. I took full advantage by cashing in my Pea in the Body gift card that I've been saving since Christmas and stocked up on maternity clothes to last me through the summer (or at least my upcoming trip to summery-Miami next month).

I'm totally regretting that I didn't buy the above shirt. In fact, I want the whole outfit.

4. All of our awesome friends who really feel more like family. We love that when we go to Utah we always have people we are excited to see and so many homes that are opened up to us. And now we get to enjoy watching bond with lots of little pseudo-cousin-friends. (Sorry, no pictures. The camera never made it out the trunk of our car. Lameskies!)

5. How spending a week in Utah makes me appreciate our gorgeous California winters all the more. We returned to this:

Thu

Fri

74°

45°

73°

41°

I want to talk about him....

The handsome one on the right, that is.

I've been asked on several occasions, "Who wears the pants in your relationship?" I know my friends expect me to say that I do. But I honestly don't think that's the case. When it comes to me and Yo we share the proverbial pants and, for that matter, we share the proverbial skirt, too. And that's one of the things that I like and respect about Yo the most. He is man enough not to feel threatened by a strong woman; comfortable enough in who he is not to worry that the fact that he helps around the house more than most husbands do; and confident enough to rock purple socks and hot pink shirts with the best of them.

I was notoriously non-committal in my dating years. So much so, that I know my parents wondered in the backs of their minds if I would ever actually get married. As it turns out, Yo did not strike his parents as the marrying kind either. They figured that he would finally be ready to settle down in his 40's or thereabouts. So I'm sure that both of our families were a little shocked when after only 5 or 6 months of dating exclusively, Yo and I were engaged.

In case you thought I was exaggerating, this was my engagement present from my parents.

Truthfully, I think it's a miracle that anyone gets married. It is such a huge (and ludicrous) thing to say that you want to spend the rest of eternity with one person. It may seem like a bigger gamble when you've only dated a few short months.

When we were young and dating and oh, so in love.

Looking back I realize that I did take a huge leap of faith marrying Yo. After all, I had to draw some very important conclusions about the type of husband that he would be after a very brief amount of time. I concluded that he had the drive, smarts, and determination to have a successful career and to be able to support a family; that he would be a devoted and loving father; and that he would continue to be a good friend, support and companion.

Now I can say that I know all these things are true. In fact, in almost every which way, Yo has exceeded my expectations.

Our first picture as a married couple

Still, marriage hasn't always been a bump-free road for Yo and I. And even in the best of scenarios it seems like whether a marriage is destined to last is a bit of a crap shoot. When we were dating Yo and I believed we were oh, so much alike. I'm sure our family and friends will find that laughable, knowing us now. It's true, we are very different people and sometimes this can create a more *colorful* dynamic. So in some ways, we may not seem like the most obvious success story, but I like to think that we've got what it takes to make it for the long-haul... and Yo's a the biggest part of that.

If I had to summarize what it is about Yo that makes me feel so confident, it's that he is the most loyal person that I know. Yo has always connected with people easily and he gives a lot of himself to the other people in his life. Sometimes I joke that Yo expends all of his charm and humor by 5 o'clock and Kai and I get whatever of him is left. But that loyalty that I'm talking about, he reserves for us--and us alone.

His family means everything to Yo and it shows in all the ways that count the most. So while I sometimes wish that Yo was a little more overt in his devotion, if I had to choose between a guy who is quick to hold my hand or can be trusted with my heart, I will always take the latter.

Sometimes I think back to our dating years and wish that we could recapture the all-consuming-ness of a new love. But I would never trade what we have now for what we had then.

I love you babe! Thanks for being my Valentine these past 8 years!

Kai-ism #2

After a hard day of working in the yard and around the house, Yo was holding Kai when Kai began sniffing at Yo and then announced, "You smell like Oslo!"

Meet the Olsens

Ever since Yo and I moved to the Bay Area 6 years ago and totally fell in love with it, I've been trying to convince anyone and everyone in my family to move out here. Unfortunately my siblings are very rooted in Florida and have no plans of relocating, and my mother, the science teacher, is counting down the days until California breaks off from the rest of the continent and falls into the ocean. Needless to say, my efforts have been in vain.

So instead of holding out for that day that you might actually have the pleasure of meeting my family members for yourselves, I thought I'd take a moment to introduce them to you. Tonight I'd like to start with this guy:

This is my dad, Hoyt. Isn't he a handsome guy?

My dad is a high school English teacher and he is really good at what he does. I know this first hand. Yes, I was his student. I took my dad's AP English class my junior year. My friends always find this amusing, but I actually loved being his student. I respected my dad before, but it was pretty cool getting to see him in his element, doing what he does best.

A couple of years ago, I traveled all the way from CA to FL to surprise my dad at school on his birthday.

 Growing up I was a daddy's girl. Maybe I was a smart 2nd-born child who saw an opportunity to stake out an unclaimed share of the parent market, or maybe my dad was just as awesome as I thought he was. He's that hands-on kind of dad that I think that every kid deserves. He gave piggyback rides and read bedtime stories. He coached our teams and attended all of our various activities. And he is an expert tickler....just ask Kai:

 In every important way he made a point to be present in our lives. I remember just beaming with pride as a kindergartner when my dad attended our class "fiesta day." He was the only dad among a throng of moms and that made me feel oh-so-extra-special. That's the same way I felt when my dad took me on Daddy's day-outs where he would spend quality time with us, one-on-one, doing something fun. I hope my dad knows how much those days meant to all of us.

My Dad is smart...really smart...and he knows it. He also comes across a little formal upon first meeting so my boyfriends always thought he was intimidating. But as his own kid I never found him so. He has a big soft spot and as a daddy's girl I was in a better position than most to know it. 

My siblings weren't always as skilled at pulling out my dad's compassion. Which makes sense if you know my sister and brothers. We are about as different from each other personality wise as brothers and sisters get. Yet, as different as we are, we have one thing in common... our sharp, somewhat twisted senses-of-humor and that is all Hoyt.

 "Cool" is probably not a word that I would have used to describe my dad during my teenage years, but somehow he has gotten cooler over time. He has great taste in music, a little bit of a rebellious streak, a flair for Hawaiian shirts and other bold fashions my mother doesn't support, and he plays a mean air guitar.

My dad isn't eccentric or quirky, but he doesn't exactly fit a mold either. And in some ways that's always empowered me to be who I want to be and not worry if that makes me different from everyone else. Whatever confidence I have, I get from my dad and if I'm lucky I'll get better with age like him, too.

Love you, Dad!

I want to talk about me...

A while back my dad made fun of the fact that "The Andersen Times" had become little more than an homage to Kai. He was right. I blogged about little else. So I've decided to make a point this 2012 to talk about more than 1/3 of my family. And tonight I feel like talking about me.

This pic makes me miss my long hair... I'm not going to lie.

My dad loves to hear that he's right. He is an insufferable know-it-all. Now you know where I get it from. But one of the things I love most about my dad is that he can laugh at his flaws. He's confident enough about himself to handle them. Just ask him.

So yes, I might be Princess Know-It-All myself, but like my dad I can laugh at my flaws, too. Here are a few of them:

Captain Justice at your service....

You might mistake me as being ultra-competitive. (Am I right, fellow Bocce ball players?) But I'm really not. Yes, I love to win. And, yes, I will give 100% of my effort to do so, but, no, it does not pain me to lose. I am quite a graceful loser in fact and have had a lot of practice doing it. Let me put it this way, I would not have joined track in high school if winning was a value I esteemed. (Just ask my sister.) So why do I seem ultra-competitive at times? It's because I have an ultra need for things to be just and fair and right with the world.

So much so, that I am the idiot jeopardizing my life when some jerk driver decides that they do not have to play by the same rules and decides to use the shoulder of a road to bypass the rest of us suckers stuck in a traffic jam. I am also the girl who will call out my friend's husband for bending the rules in Bocce ball to his team's advantage (especially when no advantage is needed to kick our butts).

I will defend the little guy and back seat drive. And read the rules to a game out loud for a group to hear if I think a little clarification is needed. Does this make me ultra competitive? Hardly. Annoying? Definitely. But I can accept that.  It's a small price to pay for justice.

OCD what?

I thrive on order. Having an organized closet gives me peace. Walking into an immaculate house and smelling the sweet smell of bleach and windex makes me giddy...literally giddy.

Disorder, on the other hand, sends me into a downward spiral and I may take everyone in my path down with me. Let's be honest, perfectionists are not only annoying, they make people uncomfortable. Everyone loves the laid back friend who let's you and your messy kid come over to trash their house and genuinely doesn't mind.

Now many a friend's kid has trashed my house and they are welcome to it, but of course I mind. I try to tune it out and when I can't ignore it anymore the best I can do is thinly mask my annoyance. And let's be honest, I'm not fooling anyone.

It probably doesn't help that I often can't resist the urge to start cleaning up the mess even as it's being made. We all know it's a losing battle, but that's the compulsion. A sane person would wait for it all to stop and then just clean all at once. So I'm sorry if I've ever made you feel uncomfortable by staring your tike down as she leaves a path of destruction in my immaculate home. I hope it is no small consolation when I tell you, you're worth it.

Speaking of annoying...

I'm easily annoyed: By incompetence, bad drivers, bad service, crowds, chaos, indecisiveness, lack of common sense and people I perceive as being inconsiderate. To sum it up....

I know, it sounds bad. Does it make it any better that I only get annoyed with the anonymous people that I don't know? Not really? In all fairness, this is one of my biggest flaws and something that I'm working on. Really. Truthfully progress has been really slow.

But the irony is that I really do love people. And I hope that redeems me a little bit. That's what drew me to nursing home administration. Like my mom, I take in stray animals. And like my dad, I always find change for a pan handler. I can't watch documentaries without getting caught up in the issues and feeling like I need to get involved in the cause. I want to fix the world one issue at a time. And chances are, if I get to know you, I'll like you. If I'm nice to you, it's sincere. If you hurt me, I'll probably give you a second chance.  

If your my friend, I'll be the first to come to your defense. If you're not my friend, I'm not the type to talk behind your back.

Wrapping it up...
I wish I could say that this was an all-inclusive list. But the truth is that I'll have to leave the rest of my flaws to another day. So I'll wrap it up with this: I am wordy. Just look at my blog. There is no such thing as a short entry. I always set out to be concise, but seem to end up with entries like this one....even after editing.

Hopefully you'll still love me anyway!

Kai-isms

My little chatterbox says something at least once a day that totally takes me off guard and/or cracks me up. He is such a nut and it always amazes me to hear the words that he's learned, the strange notions that he's picked up, and most importantly what's going on in that little noggin of his. So I've started a new journal where I try to write down one sweet, funny, or touching thing that he's said during the course of that day and I hope to share a couple of these gems with you.

Here's the first:

Yesterday Kai was put into timeout after hitting Oslo. As usual, when his two minutes were up, I went over to Kai to talk about why he was in timeout.

Just as I began asking him, "Kai, why are you in timeout?" Kai reached up with his little hand and started gently stroking my cheek while staring really intently into my eyes. I was a little disarmed and found myself trying not to smile (time out is a serious business) when Kai said in his most sincere voice, "I'm listening to you, Mommy," and then cupped my face between his two hands and tilted my head to make sure I was looking right at him and said "I'm listening to you," again.

My heart melted.

What can I say, this little boy has my number. If he is half as sweet as a grown man as he is today, ladies watch out. He's going to be melting a lot of hearts.

My other baby....

And I'm not talking about the nugget, or Oslo, or my husband (at least not this time)... I'm talking about Mobility Dx, my little infant of a company.

It's hard to explain the pride that I feel in being part of creating a company from scratch. I got to help conceive the idea for the business and then take the steps to make it into a reality. I got to name the company and even came up with the logo that you see above. I've created a cozy office out of an empty space and assembled more desks and invested more money than I'd like to count to get this thing going, but I couldn't be prouder of all that we've accomplished so far.

It's going to be a little while before I make any money on this venture, but I've never been happier working. As soon as we finish painting and decorating the office, I'll snap a few shots of that as well. But for now, I'm just really pleased to introduce my little baby to you. (And only feeling slightly guilty that this is more of a birth announcement than anything that I did for Kai.)

Little Miss Newton

Newton's law of inertia (in his own words):
The vis insita, or innate force of matter, is a power of resisting by which every body, as much as in it lies, endeavours to preserve its present state, whether it be of rest or of moving uniformly forward in a straight line.

Or in Carly's words:
An object in motion likes to stay in motion and an object at rest likes to stay at rest.

Did you know that the word "inertia" is derived from the Latin word, iners, meaning idle, or lazy? Fitting because motherhood has taught me that when I'm lazy, I'm really lazy and when I'm busy, it's as if I can't be busy or productive enough.

I was blessed to stay home with Kai for a full 6 months before I returned to work full time. I still like to contend that Kai was not the easiest baby and having some weirdo complications related to breastfeeding totally knocked the wind out of my sails just as I was starting feel like I had this whole motherhood thing figured out, but really I was a super unproductive new mother. Sitting at home with my child, going through the cycles of eating and pooping and sleeping and playing seemed like a full- time, all consuming job. Forget the laundry or cleaning, grocery shopping or errand running. I didn't even find time to internet surf...or get dressed some days.

A typical moment in my life as a new mom

And the worst part of all that inactivity was that it was exhausting. I felt totally tired, frustrated, and stuck all of the time. After all, what does a stay-at-home mom do? I didn't have a lot of other mommy friends and could never think of things to do outside the house with a baby (especially that didn't cost money).

One of my good friends pointed out the irony that it was only after I returned to work that I finally found time to create a blog (and at times maintain it). It was also around that time that I joined a gym, got involved in play groups, took on another calling at church, managed to keep my house clean, and (wait for it) showered at least 3 times a week.

Me and Kai getting ready for work

I wish I were the kind of person that could motivate myself, of my own will entirely, to spring out of bed in the morning and conquer each day, but I know well enough by now that I'm not. So I need work to provide that structure for me.

Now that I'm at work again, I've managed to fill up my days with productive activities, whether I'm at work or not. Mondays I'm watching a couple of my friend's kids. Tuesdays Kai and I have to get up and out of the door first thing in the morning to make it to a co-op preschool that I enrolled him in. Wednesdays and Thursdays I work (long days). And Friday we run errands, clean the house and try to make it to play group.

And lo and behold, I'm blogging again. So to all you moms out there that can do the mom thing 24/7 and continue to be productive, happy people...good for you! I admire you. I support you. But I am not one of you. I love being a mom more than anything else in this world. But I am a much better mom when my talents and energies are actively engaged (at least some of the time) in challenges outside of the home. Inertia.

My Little Nugget

• I'm 15-weeks pregnant and it's starting to show. I can still fit into my regular pants, but have started working a few maternity pieces into my wardrobe. At this point it is almost a guilty pleasure to wear expandable pants. They're not quite necessary, but oh-so-comfortable...and a little too convenient when I want to eat one too many bites of a delicious meal, or better yet dessert. Is this what it feels like to wear pajama jeans? 

• The date for my big ultrasound is going to be March 1st. My favorite part of pregnancy is finding out the baby's gender. It not only makes things more real, it means that I can go from thinking about the logistics of baby #2 (sometimes obsessively) to actually preparing. What can I say? I'm a woman of action (i.e. control freak).

• I haven't the faintest inkling of whether this baby is a boy or a girl. I didn't know with Kai either, I just really wanted a girl--in no small part because one of my employees told me that my pregnancy made me ugly, which meant I was having a boy (I guess it's a Filipino thing, but still rude). I left work early in tears that day willing my baby to be a girl just to prove her wrong. With this baby I have less of a preference. It would be fun for Kai to have a brother and convenient with all of his cute hand-me-downs. Then again, I would be elated to have a girl (my sister is certainly rooting for one). 

• We already have a boy name and a girl name picked out, so we are prepared either way. Yes, I like to name my children months before I meet them. We knew what Kai's name would be 13-weeks into my last pregnancy and had #2's names picked out right around the same time. Like I said, I'm a woman of action and settling on a name is one thing that I don't have to wait to do.

• When I refer to the logistics of baby #2, the big question on my mind is where the little one will sleep. If we're having a boy I will have Kai share a room with the baby. His room is big enough and that way I won't have to give up the guest room or the office. If it's a girl, I've got a lot to figure out. Yo thinks it's weird that the baby's gender factors into this decision at all. I think it's weird that he thinks it's weird. 

• Last pregnancy I dreaded (dreaded) growing out of my clothes. This time I'm not as stressed out about it (but still don't need to commemorate this "magical" time in my life with any pictures...so don't ask for a baby bump shot). Partly, I'm relieved that I already have some maternity clothes. I also like to think that I learned a lot about what flatters a pregnant figure the first time around. Turns out, flowy tops are not flattering when your stomach is the size of a watermelon. But mostly I'm excited to get this bump growing because my thoughtful husband and in-laws got me gift cards to some of my favorite maternity stores for Christmas. And since pregnancy tends to take the fun out of shopping for anything other than shoes and accessories, I'm looking forward to a reprieve from my shopping fast.

• I felt the baby kicking for the first time last week. I forgot what a weird feeling that is. I was blessed with an easy pregnancy with Kai and so far the same has been true this time around. Apparently I don't get morning sickness. In the beginning I feel tired and moody and have to get up at least once a night to pee, but other than that it's business as usual. By the 2nd trimester most of those symptoms go away and until a significant baby bump appears, it's pretty easy to forget that I'm pregnant. So it's little things like being nudged from the inside or hearing the baby's heartbeat that make it feel real. So I'm going to enjoy those baby kicks.

• I'm also going to enjoy sleeping on my stomach while I can and my back for a little bit longer than that. Anyone out there have a recommendation for a comfortable maternity pillow? I dread the days of sleeping on my side. Last pregnancy I tried one of those giant "C" shaped pillows, but never really liked it. I wasn't comfortable and Yo had no space left in the bed. He ended up sleeping in the guest room for the last 2 months. 

I'm off to watch the Super Bowl. Is it wrong that I'm more excited about the food than the game?