Big brother duties

I get asked all the time how Kai likes being a big brother. Honestly, while I think that Kai has adjusted really well, it's hard to tell how much he "likes" his new role. When we first brought Ari home, I think that Kai saw him as competition for my attention. He would tell me, "Put that baby down and hold me, Mama."

Or my favorite line, "Give that baby to Grandma!"

After a few weeks, he seemed more resigned to the fact that the baby wasn't going anywhere and that he would be sharing his Mama from here on out. But he was pretty indifferent toward Ari, himself. Occasionally he would perk up and get excited when I would ask him to help me by finding Ari a binky or getting out a clean diaper. But as soon as he would complete his task, he would be off again, rarely paying Ari attention.

There have been a few cute moments between the boys that made me smile. One morning when the three of us were piled in my bed watching cartoons, Kai unexpectedly took Ari by the hand and held it for more than 10 minutes while his show wrapped up. Sometimes Kai will suddenly turn his attention to Ari and pat him on the head and tell him that he is "really cute" or "tiny."

But what has really warmed my heart recently, is that on several occasions when I hear Ari crying in another part of the house (when he has been sleeping in his swing or I have put him down in his pack 'n play or crib), if it takes me a minute or two to get to him I will often find this...

evidence that Kai has been there first and done his best to cheer his brother up. Kai loves his baby doll. He sleeps with it at every nap and every night. And he would not loan it out to just anyone. So this mommy appreciates what a sweet gesture it is when he offers it to his baby brother.

So while I can't say for sure that Kai likes Ari yet, I am excited to watch as his relationship with his baby brother grows over the next months. And I have a feeling that Kai is going to evolve into a really good big brother. 

Buddies

Since Ari was born, Pappa has stepped up a lot especially when it comes to spend quality time with big brother, Kai. Yo has begun getting up with Kai in the morning. He gets him to the bathroom, fixes him breakfast and gets him dressed for the day. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, he drops Kai off at preschool on his way into work.

In the evenings Yo often takes Kai along with him when he goes jogging. He has assigned Kai the important task of lighting the way for Pappa...a job that requires the use of a headlamp and one that Kai takes very seriously. He was pretty upset one day when Pappa went jogging without him fearing that "it will be too dark and a car will hit him!"

After they finish jogging, Yo always stretches out. Recently Kai has learned to stretch with him. He will sit right along side Pappa and help him count as he goes through each stretch. Yesterday Yo forgot to do one stretch and Kai was quick to remind him. I have enjoyed watching this ritual through the front window and keep meaning to grab my camera one of these times so that I can document it. Like I always tell Yo, it's these little things that we are going to want to remember (especially when the boys are stinky, back-talking, rebellious teenagers).

On the weekends, Kai follows Yo around like a little shadow helping Pappa with his weekly chores. Kai feels like quite the important little man when he gets to assist with the yard work and car cleaning. He comes in covered head to toe on those days, proudly telling me that he's been "working really hard, Mommy."

And sometimes, when Yo is going out of his way to give me a little peace and quiet with Ari (or when he is going out of his way to escape Ari because he is being anything but peaceful and quiet), Yo will take Kai out on excursions. Occasionally these excursions involve legitimate errands that he has to run (like getting gas for the cars...or diet cokes for mom!), but more often he will leave the house without a destination in mind and come up with something to do.

It's no secret that Yo is a little random so these excursions can lead to random destinations and outcomes. So it didn't surprise me when he returned from one such excursion the other day with this gem of a purchase....

He insisted that Kai had picked out this (not very cute) penguin costume on his own and very enthusiastically.

While we both got a chuckle out of the costume, we ultimately agreed that it should be returned because

1) They only had size 2T left and it was a bit small on Kai

2) I have been looking for the perfect costume for Kai for weeks now and I was not about to be denied the privilege of at least being consulted on this type of purchase, and

3) The costume made Kai look more like a butterball than a penguin...

Need I say more?

We love those cheeks, but let's be honest, the boy does not need help accentuating them. :) So the penguin was returned on another father/son outing and the search for the perfect Halloween costume continues. 

A few recent pics

I feel guilty that I haven't taken more pictures of Ari over the last few weeks. Ari has decided recently that he likes to be held...pretty much all of the time. So while I feel like he is getting his fair of my attention and love, it is not easy to simultaneously hold a baby and take his picture. It also seems that whenever I put Ari down to snap a few shots, he quickly expresses how little he likes being put down (or more correctly, propped up) for the picture taking.

But despite the grumpy pictures, I can assure you that Ari is really a happy guy 90% of the time. I just never seem to capture his happy nature on film.

Which is such a shame because he has recently mastered the baby skill of social smiling. Catch him in an awake moment and all it takes is you smiling at him to get him to smile from ear to ear and, if your lucky, he might throw in a few happy coos or even a little chuckle (he is building up to a full-on laugh).



I have done my darnedest to capture one of his heart-melting grins on camera, but have come up short so far. The best I can offer is a little smirk...but I'll keep working on it. And you have to admit, with cheeks like his, a little smirk goes a long way.

When pappa's late from work....

Kai and I get creative about how to entertain ourselves. Not sure that Yo thought Kai's hair was as funny as Kai and I did... What can I say? We're easily amused. :)

My little bug

Ari has finally grown into one of the few outfits that I bought for him before he was born. He looked so cute in it, that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to snap a few pictures. He's 6 weeks old and plumping up nicely. As Kai says, "He's really pretty cute, isn't he?"

Thoughts on politics

During this election year I find myself having a love/hate relationship with American politics. I love that election years seem to incite people's passion for political activism. It is such a shame that most of us only take action to have our political voices heard every four years (if that). But I hate that politics seem to divide us more than unite us--that the passions that we feel in support of our "own side" often result in the vilifying of "the other side".

Before I go into my own political views, I would like to say that while my allegiance does lie with one party, I can acknowledge that both presidential candidates are good men, who love their families, and this country. And who, at the end of the day, truly have the best interest of the country at heart and believe that their approach to government is for the country's best. I wish that people spent less time trying to malign the characters of either man...dubbing one a socialist, the other a nazi, one a religious bigot, the other a God hater. Such allegations are ignorant, insulting and say more about the intelligence and heart of the stone thrower than about the person at whom the stone was cast.

So where do I stand?

As an active member of the LDS (Mormon) faith, I have always been presumed a conservative and a Republican (even in past, Mitt-free, elections). Well, I'm not. I'm actually a registered Democrat. As surprising as this might be to some of you (and as unsurprising as it is to others), my reasons for supporting Democrats may come as more of a surprise. For me, it is not in spite of my moral beliefs, but because of them that I find myself supporting a Democratic philosophy of government.

When it comes down to it, I believe that it is my moral duty as an American and a Christian and a Mormon to cast a vote in favor of policies that benefit the whole of our country...even when (especially when) those policies aren't to my personal advantage (financially or otherwise). I believe that to be a strong nation, we have to invest in and safeguard the most vulnerable members of our society...the sick, the elderly, the hungry, the poor, the uneducated, the orphaned, the widowed. (Matt 25:40 "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me.")

I also recognize that I have been very blessed in life. Telling stories of one's humble roots seems to be a popular theme in political speeches. I can tell my own story of being the second daughter to a young couple with four kids who struggled to make ends meet for our family at times. And how my parents made countless personal sacrifices to ensure that their children were able to get good educations at good private schools. And how that education prepared me to go onto college and then law school and to become a successful business executive by my mid-20's. It sounds like a classic Republican success story right?


But I can also tell you that for a time my parents relied on government programs to feed and house their young family (not to mention provide for their health insurance and early childhood education). I can tell you that my private school education was a result of my parents being private school teachers. And that I was only able to go to college because of the Federal loans that I qualified for that helped me pay for that education. Sounds like the perfect Democratic success story now, right?


So yes, I have seen first hand that Government funded programs can work. My parents were not lazy, welfare-abusing opportunists. They were young and in school and needed a little help for a short spell of time. And believe me, they have paid the assistance that they received both backwards and forwards by not only becoming productive, tax-contributing members of society, but by dedicating their lives as educators of future generations.

But I am not a Democrat just because I can testify that government programs work and that there are 10 stories like mine for every case of welfare-abuse that occurs in this country. I'm a Democrat because I recognize that despite my family's humble beginnings, I've always had a lot weighing in my favor. I was born into a loving two-parent home, to educated parents--and in my father's case, came from a long line of educated parents--I've lived in safe neighborhoods and attended good schools, mostly private that my parents could only afford due to tuition cuts extended to faculty member's kids and scholarships that I was blessed to receive. Although my parents know the reality of living paycheck to paycheck, I never lived with the uncertainty of knowing where my next meal was coming from or where I would go to sleep at night. I have always enjoyed the privileges of safety, security, and opportunity.


Anyone who believes that just because our founding fathers recognized the equality of all men, that all men in this country are born with equal opportunities must be very stuck inside of their own worlds. And that is not to say that extraordinary humans have not achieved success in our country despite their extraordinary circumstances, it is just a recognition that the circumstances that we are born into, most certainly do have an impact on our chances of being successful in life. There are no guarantees, but some of us have better odds than others.

When I think about my good fortune, this hymn comes to mind...

I know that the argument can be made that people can give back through means other than paying taxes. And believe you me, I have had to deal with enough of the frustrating inefficiencies of government in my career as a healthcare administrator to accept that there are shortcomings to government programs and that in an ideal world private charities would do it better... but I still believe that government has a role in serving the needs of the people. And, unfortunately, I do not believe that people would donate their time or resources necessary to meet the needs of the people to the scale that the government does so.

At the end of the day, what is so objectionable about redistributing wealth? Why shouldn't someone who pays taxes in an upscale neighborhood see some of those funds used to provide resources for a school in a poor neighborhood? While I hope to be able to provide my children the same great private school education that I received, I don't expect to pay less taxes based on the argument that my children are not enrolled in public schools and therefore I should not be expected to fund public schooling.
 
I've heard people attacked for making similar arguments. It's easy to disagree with a pandering Democratic candidate or self-serving Democratic supporter, but harder to disagree with this guy...

It seems to me that the fall of every great society came as a result of their being too large of a gap between the privileged and the disadvantaged. And that when we, as the advantaged use our political voice to protect our advantages to the disadvantage of others, we are only increasing that gap.

I am not voting to re-elect Obama as president because I am hoping that Romney or another millionaire will have to bank roll my children's college education someday. For me it is not about which party mentions God more times in their platform--I don't know that God relishes in the recognition. For me it is about the party that that embodies my values...which just so happen to be Christian and Mormon...and American.

I am voting for Obama because I believe that at the end of the day I _am_ my brother's keeper, and so are you. I am voting for Obama because I believe that it is the right thing to do.

Why are you voting for who you are voting for? I'd like to know.

(P.S. As controversial as this post may be to some of you, I didn't even breach my views on the social issues that separate the parties. If this post doesn't scare you away.... that one may follow in a few days.)

One Month

In the last month we've had some time to get acquainted with our little man, Ari, and I wanted to share some of the things that I've learned and love about him.

- Ari is a squeaker. He makes the cutest high-pitched squeakiest noises I've ever heard come out of a human's mouth...so much so that the other day I asked Yo to check in on Ari because I thought I heard him fussing only to realize that what I was actually hearing was Oslo playing with one of his squeaky toys in the backyard

- While Ari has his fair share of seemingly inconsolable moments, in general he is a really calm baby. The word that comes to mind is serene. I'd say this is the most notable difference between Ari and Kai so far. The word I would use for Kai is alert (sometimes intensely so).

- The one thing that Ari is very intense about is food. This kid loves to eat and does so with a vengeance. His suctioning is so serious that he literally makes his bottle stand up on end and is able to eat it hands-free because of the strength of his sucking.

- As a byproduct of his efficient eating, Ari is plumping up nicely. The last time he had a check-up was at 2 weeks. He went from 7 lbs 3 oz at birth to 8 lbs 8 oz in two short weeks to the amazement of his pediatrician and his momma.

- There is nothing that upsets Ari more than the startle reflex. Poor thing must have been dropped off a cliff in a previous life because that is the only way that I can explain the expression of sheer terror that comes across his face anytime he feels off-balanced or his arms extend too far from his body. The following picture hardly does it justice...

- While I had delusions of making this kid sleep in his own bed from day one, he's recently decided that he prefers to sleep in my arms...and since I prefer sleep in any form that I can get it, more often than not he spends at least part of the night hanging out in my bed. But during the day, his favorite spot is on Kai's chest. It's pretty endearing...especially to Yo.

- Everyone asks me if he's sleeping at night. He is, but generally just for 2 hours (occasionally 3) at a time. While I wish he would sleep longer, I honestly don't mind. I'm just glad he's healthy and gaining weight. And that he'll be ready for sleep training in another 4 months :)

We love you, Ari!

This time around...

I keep worrying about how quickly the weeks are slipping away with this one. We are so busy from day-to-day that I sometimes wish I  could hit a pause button and freeze Ari in his tiny perfection for a little while to fully have time to absorb it. With Kai I too often fell into the new mom trap of always looking forward to the next stage, the next big landmark. I didn't always savor the newborn stage the way I should have.

So this time around I'm not lamenting my lack of sleep or thinking far ahead to when he'll first laugh, or say "mama," or walk. I'm relishing in his newborn squeaks and grunts, marveling at the smallness of his chubby fingers, smiling at the redness of his gummy grins, and cuddling him every chance I get.

I know how quickly his newness will pass. And I know how much I will miss it when it's gone. So don't be surprised that I am bearing this tiring, round-the-clock waking/eating/needing phase so well. Despite the exhaustion that newborn-motherhood inevitably brings, I am mostly feeling happy, thankful, and blessed.

My little hero

One of the perks of having boys is that so far I have total say over how they dress. While my friends with girls seem to lament the fact that their little darlings will only wear pink or insist on putting together their own outfits with sometimes embarrassing results, Kai could care less about what he wears. in fact, if he had it his way, he'd prefer to wear nothing at all.

That is why I found it all the more amusing the other day when Yo announced that Kai had requested to wear a specific outfit that morning and the result was this...

When I asked Kai why he wanted to wear this particular shirt he answered, "Is this a super hero shirt, Mommy?"

Of course it was.

So I grabbed my camera and had him strike his best super hero poses, which included the above as well as these:

Preschool

By the time I finally got around to thinking about preschool earlier this summer, I was a bit late to the game. Apparently preschool is a way more serious business than daycare. Some of the schools that I called were already wait listing kids for the Fall of 2013...no joke!
So I had to scramble quite a bit to find a program for Kai, but I did it and even managed to get all of the paperwork, health checks, etc. done in time for Kai's first day of class last Tuesday. I'm so glad things worked out because Kai is loving school. I think he would attend every day if I gave him the option. But for now he is going half days on T/Th mornings. And I get to spend those hours bonding with his cute little brother. It's a win-win.